Why

Believe it or not, it has been another EXTREMELY hard week. Of course school is taxing, but that isn't what is going on at all. When one thing begins to get better, another backfires. I don't know why all of these challenges get thrown in my direction, and I am beginning to not know what to do or how to fix it. I feel like every good relationship I have with someone, something pushes them away. I'm beginning to think it is me, but I honestly don't think I am doing anything. I have never been anything but more than kind to the people I love. This is what poses the question...why does this keep happening to me?

I Didn't Do It!!!

(Sorry Kim, I had to post this. It is too funny!!!)

Pictures

My friend Ryan went and took some Christmas pictures for Ryan, Kim, and Bennett. He was able to capture one of Bennett climbing onto my lap. It would have been perfect if I was looking, but I didn't even know he was taking a picture. It still turned out awesome though! I love it!!!

My Favorite Picture of Bennett

Bennett with his first turkey leg on Thanksgiving. He didn't quite know what to think about it, but I think he liked it! What a little ham!

Almost Done!

First semester is almost done, which is extremely exciting!  However, I hate this week! It is the busiest week I have had so far. All I want to do is sleep! It used to be so easy for me to stay up until 3:00am, and now I can barley make it to midnight. Last night I got home from work and did more work until 3:00am and was up at 6:00am. I was really hoping for classes cancelled, or that it would keep snowing so it would have been "too dangerous" to drive to Winona. But of course my luck wouldn't give me that. So here I am at class again until 8:00pm tonight. :( I keep telling myself this is the last week of it though, it will get better. Another long night of work tonight, and two finals on Tuesday I and I am done (at least for a month).

One Last Halloween Video

This video really makes me laugh. It was supposed to be the second video in but it wouldn't upload last night. So here is yet another one of that cutie we all love!

Halloween Video-Take II

Bennett was on the horse for a lot of the night. He even began whistling! What a cutie!

Bennett Getting Annoyed!

Bennett's first take on sticking up for himself!

Much Needed Bennett Time

The week is off to a pretty good week... so far. However it still is Monday morning. Yesterday morning I got a phone call from Kim asking me to come over and watch Bennett. As she knows, she doesn't even need to ask that question :)    

I was so excited to get to go play with him. There is probably only one person in the world that can make me instantly forget about all of my problems, and that is Bennett. The second I walked in the door he got a big smile on his face and it made my heart melt. Kim and I discovered his love of Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies. As Kim would say, "you smelt minty fresh." We had fun playing for a couple hours, and Bennett spent some extra time in the pots and pans.  

What Is Life Going To Throw At Me Next?

I understand it has been WAY  too long since my last update. I have been very busy, and I guess at a loss for words. Needless to say, this month has not been good at all. There have been too many trials and tribulations with friends, school, and work. I understand it is all part of the test of life but WHY on earth does everything have to happen at the same time. Just when I think I am finally getting everything back on track and things begin to look up, I get blind-sided again! For example, I work at a daycare. Yesterday I go to my normal shift and everything is going great. Right before I leave my supervisor says she wants to talk to me quick before I leave for the day. I think to myself... "Okay, I know I didn't do anything wrong so I guess we'll see what she has to say." I walk into her office and she tells me: "The corporation had to make some cuts so unfortunately I will no longer need you after TODAY." Today....? She tells me this after my shift is done. No heads up earlier in the week... NOTHING. Just out of the blue. My one source of steady income just gone! That really put the icing on the cake for me, needless to say I kept it together... until I got to my car. Then it was total breakdown!

So after that I figured my day couldn't get much worse. It didn't get a lot worse but then last night I had a discussion with a friend in which I had to make decisions for myself. All I want to even say about that situation is that you would think that after 8+ years of a friendship (a really GREAT one at that) I never thought I would have to make the decision that I did. I think it will ultimately be the best for me and my future, but it is still something you wish you wouldn't have to do. I do have an amazing support system to get me through it. HOPEFULLY it is all looking up from here. But I guess only one person knows what life is going to throw at me next...

Nothing Exciting...

I know I haven't posted in quite some time now, but I have been extremely busy (or so I feel). I have just been doing the school, work, student athlete thing...and either it is taking it's toll or I'm just in a funk.  I personally feel like I have had many inner struggles with many things, and I just don't know what to do about it. I just keep trying to tell myself that everything will get better and I'm sure it will, however I am an impatient person. 

Halloween was this last weekend and I spent it with my family. It was my nephews first Halloween, and he was as cute as ever. I do have some video's of him and I will get those posted as soon as I can. 

I don't really have a whole lot to blog about at the moment, but I will try to get some things up here soon. Kim, I know I have been tagged and I promise I will do it later!!! As for now, it goes to keeping up on the TV and the polls to see what our future is going to hold. 

For Friends...

"Crisis breeds camaraderie. It turns total strangers into cherished confidants. We're relieved to discover someone whose experience bears a striking resemblance to our own. It gladdens us to know we're not alone. We will always enjoy our childhood friends, but when we grow up, our needs change and God provides friends of a different kind- friends who are formed in the School of Hard Knocks, companions who've come from the classroom life. "

from Hugs for Friends

"A good friend isn't surprised by your mistakes. She expects them. Somewhere, fairly early in the relationship, a good friend will find out the truth about you. She'll witness your weaknesses firsthand. And it's at this point that your friend, if she's really a good friend, will decide to stick by you anyway."

from Hugs for Friends

Two of my very best guy friends are getting into photography. So to help them build their portfolio they asked if they could do a "photo shoot". So of course I agreed, and I invited Suzie (the boys love her too!) So this evening off we went. They took a ton of pictures and they turned out AMAZING! These are two of our favorites but there will be plenty more coming from both of their collections from the day.

Thanks boys again! You guys are great!!!

Bitter Sweet

So for those of you who know me, you know that running is an extremely important part of my life. I have been running and/or coaching now for 9-10 years and I enjoy every second of it (yes I know that sounds completely insane)! So I sit here tonight torn about what I need to do with the decision I have on the line. Most of you know that this is my senior year at Winona State. I have spring semester of classes and then next fall I will be student teaching. Here comes my decision...I will have some NCAA eligibility left after this season, do I try to run and student teach at the same time-or will Saturday be my last actual race that I ever run? I have given myself many different ultimatums, however next fall I wouldn't be able to go to any practices and I would only be able to run in Saturday meets...is it worth it? From what I have heard on numerous occasions is that student teaching runs your life (which is understandable), I think I know what my answer is but I just hate to face the reality of it. For as long as I have said that I just want to move on to the next point of my life, I do. However, this is the one piece of my youth I would love to hold on to. 

Any advice or insight that might make me feel better would be much appreciated! As of 7:30am tomorrow I am going to be off to South Dakota to run in the NSIC Conference Championships...wish me luck! But like I said, any insight would be amazing!

F-R-I-E-N-D

F- a friend never fails to be faithful, even when others falter. She won't say, "You're fat," (even if you are) or focus on your flaws. She is the first to point out your finest features. A friend will fortify your fragile frame. She will free you to flourish. A friend will never forsake you. 

R- a friend is a rare and ready rock you can run to in the rain. He will rescue you from rushing rivers- regardless. He will revive your heart, refresh your soul, and reassure you of rapid recovery.

I- a friend is not impatient or impolite. She will inquire about your day and include you in her plans. She will identify your most incredible ideas and ingenious innovations. A friend is interesting, inspiring, and indispensable. She is the keeper of your most intimate secrets. 

E- a friend is a friend till the end. He is eager to listen and easy to talk with. He's your most energetic encourager. A friend will embrace you even in the midst of your most embarrassing encounters. 

N- a friend will not nag (unless it is absolutely necessary). Naturally, she knows your deepest needs and is also nice enough to nudge you when you're neglecting your nest, being too nosy, or contemplating nonsense. 

D- a friend is devoted and dependable. Her destiny is to divert you from defeat, and her devices for depression usually involve the delicious. It's a friend's divine duty to drown your disappointments and dispose of your dismay, and many times she does it in a most delightful way! 

from Hugs for Friends

This is just a little something I found and enjoyed a lot. I have found myself lately struggling more and more to figure out who is really there for me and who isn't. It amazes me that the people you never expected to stay by your side are the ones who are there, and the ones that you thought you would have for your lifetime leave you. Although when you have your "best friend", you are supposed to be able to let your guard down. I believe that there are VERY few people in a persons life that you can let your guard down with. So as harsh as this may sound just know that sometimes in life, no matter how close you are to someone...it may never be safe to completely let your guard down. 

Weekend Get Away

So this update is WAY past due! I have been so busy with school and cross country that I haven't had time for ANYTHING! However, that is why this last weekend was so great! This past weekend I didn't have a cross country meet, so I agreed to travel to Milwaukee and Chicago with Suzie Thursday-Sunday. We had the time of our lives! We arrived to Milwaukee late on Thursday night. We were both running behind because of our school schedules and packing, and then we had to stop in Madison to pick up her brother. So as soon as we arrived, we unpacked a little and got ready for bed. 

On Friday morning Suz and I woke up and got ready for the day. We went to the library (a very nice one at that), and then began our travel to downtown Chicago to tour Roosevelt University (a graduate school for Suzie). We made it with plenty of time to spare. We decided to do a little bit of exploring and went to Millennium Park. It was so nice because it just right across the street. I had never been there before...so I got to have my first experience at "The Bean".

This is "The Bean". It is a massive mirrored bean. It was really cool! Suz and I (as you will see below) had quite a bit of time to take some photos. We took so many! Below is one of our favorites!

Suz and I took a lot of great pictures, but here is one of the favorites!

Being in Millennium Park, I wanted to see the venue for concerts. Of course, it was right next to The Bean so it was very simple. Seeing this venue makes me want to go there some day to see one of my favorite concerts (perhaps DMB). It was a beautiful day, and it is open to the public. There were so many people just laying out and reading to enjoy the nice weather. 

Finally we made it to the tour of the school. This was a view from the Library on the 10th floor. There was a lot of history that goes along with that school. It was founded by President Roosevelt, and it was the first Hotel/Auditorium with electricity. So not only is it a Chicago landmark, but it is a national one as well. So if you are ever bored...google: Auditorium Theatre Hotel.

After the tour, we met with a friend and went for the infamous Chicago style pizza at one of the best pizza places in Chicago. We then ventured home and had MANY interesting experiences on the drive home...(no not scary ones, just some that were very ironic for Suz and me.) The rest of the weekend we celebrated her dad's birthday, went out with my sister and a friend in downtown Milwaukee, and attended her cousin's wedding reception. We had a BLAST! It was a much needed weekend away!

Barack Obama

The other day when receiving the news that Barack Obama was going to be in La Crosse, I made the decision that I was either going to camp out to make sure I could actually see the speech, or I was going to go there around 4:00am. Needless to say, we didn't camp out because there was only one group there last night. So this morning at 4:15ish Jake and I ventured off to downtown La Crosse. Jake was excited to see Obama, but needless to say wasn't too thrilled about leaving so early. 

Once we got there, we realized that it was the perfect time to go. There were only a few people in front of us in line. Also, it was perfect because shortly after we got there the line began to grow. It ended up (like I said above) that we chose the perfect time to go because we got FRONT ROW!I have always been an Obama supporter, however, I never really realized how amazing of a man he really is. Today was an extremely inspiring day for me. After listening to him speak about the future of our country if he is the one to become the next President of the United States, I now have no worries. Yes, as Americans we do have numerous difficult years ahead of us, he is a great new face that has given me hope.

Me with Obama speaking in the background.

He spoke about the state of the economy today, the future of the young kids and adults, the future of education, and our future as Americans. We have learned that this is not going to be an easy road, but after all there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

The best part of waking up so early was not only getting to hear an amazing person speak to me and my other fellow Americans about our futures, but also getting to shake his hand....TWICE!

Apartment

As most of you know, Jake and I moved in together in March. I have yet to get pictures up for those of you who haven't seen it. I finished taking some pictures (I hope they turn out ok). They aren't in any particular order, but here they are...

We live in a BRAND NEW complex. This is the view from the outside!

This is the view when you walk into the door.

When you walk into the door, this is the kitchen. It is on the right as you walk in.

These next few are of the living room.

These are of the bedroom. There is a bathroom that connects to the bedroom as well. Those are the pictures below.

This is the second bedroom. We have turned it into the office.

This bathroom connects to the office and the living room. We have recently turned it into a Badger bathroom....GO BADGERS!

Right off of our living room we have a deck/balcony (as you can see others in the picture). We put a table and chairs out there so we can enjoy it out there in the nice weather. We also have a beautiful view. The only thing Jake doesn't like is the fertilizer they use on the fields across the highway (swine manure). It's not that bad...I promise!

This is the gazebo out on the front lawn. The have put a table, chairs, ceiling fan, and lights out there so we are able to enjoy it for a get together at night.

As you can see, in the Fall and Winter we have a BEAUTIFUL view of the sunset. There will be plenty more pictures of this. Lately they have just been amazing.

This is the apartment for the most part. Believe it or not, we also have our own laundry room! There are a few things I didn't photograph to put in here though. We do have an underground heated parking garage...wonderful for the wonderful winters in Wisconsin. We also have a fitness center and hot tub for any one's use. Not too many people use it, so that's nice. They also have a "community room" on the first floor. It is a huge room with a massive kitchen, leather couches, big TV, fireplace, and a lot of seating for get togethers. Jake and I had Easter there this year and it worked out wonderfully. Each floor also has its own small community room with couches, bookshelves, and other things to occupy you if you just need to get out of your apartment. 

I personally don't feel that these pictures give it all the justice, but it is a good little glimpse of what is home.

Also as many of you can see, we are still in the need of some decorations to cover the white walls! If you have any suggestions that would be GREAT! (Kim, you may need to help me on this one!)

Little Green Monster

Yesterday I was on my way home from running errands and I thought I would call Kim to see what they were up to. It had been WAY too long since I had seen Bennett, so I wanted to visit. She told me to come on over. When I got there, he was as happy as can be. We played for about an hour or so. I even got to see his ADORABLE Halloween costume!

Everything was going great...until I took my eyes off of him to talk to Ryan and Bennett who was standing up holding on to the table fell straight back and hit his head (really hard at that) on the floor.  :(     I have never heard him scream like that. I felt horrible!!! Not only was he getting cranky because he was over tired, but now his head was throbbing because he hit it on the floor. Good job Auntie Kelly...

Something to Pass On...

I received this piece of decorated paper with an amazing message on it. I just thought it would be something nice to pass along to all of the women that read my blog, and feel free to share it as well!
"No woman's beauty has ever outlived her, with the possible exception of Marilyn Monroe. And her image serves mostly as a hallmark of tragedy- a reminder that looks ultimately do not win women love, happiness or respect.

The women who have truly changed the world have done so because of their conviction and intellect. Jane Austen, Harriet Tubman, Marie Curie, Helen Keller, Indira Gandhi, even Oprah Winfrey- none of them made and impact because they were cute girls in hot pants.

Millions of lives have been saved because Clara Barton founded the Red Cross... Rosa Parks never made the cover of People Magazine, but her impact on history is certainly greater than Jenny McCarthy's.

The women of tomorrow need a reality check: Ultimately their brains, not their bodies, have the capacity to enlighten and influence the world well into the next century. Why should they obsess about the shape of their legs when they can shape history? Real girl power lies between their ears."
-Susan Jane Gilman, September 15, 1998- Saint Paul Pioneer Press

Jake Rockin the Reception!

So Jake may want to kill me for this, but check out this video of him dancing. It was so much fun and he had a great time. Plus, I learned he can dance after all!  :)

Busy Weekend!

On Friday I had my second cross country meet of the year. It was at St. John's College. It was an extremely beautiful day out. The course was on trails which made for nice scenery. I ran a little bit faster than I did there last year, but it still wasn't quite the race I wanted. We took third as a team and I took 55th out of approximately 155 runners. I had twisted my ankle on big rocks in the trail just before the 3 mile mark, so that slowed me down a little bit. But I took care of the injury right away and I am good to go again next week at St. Olaf! 

After I got home late on Friday night, I had to venture to Mankato on Saturday morning to go to one of Jake's best friends weddings. Jake was the best man, and the wedding was beautiful! It is so hard to believe that we are at the age now where many of our friends are getting married. It was a great time and everyone had fun. CONGRATULATIONS JD AND JOEY! 

Jake was rockin' the reception. Throughout the whole night, I was overhearing people asking "Who is that guy? He's really got some moves!", and "WOW! Look at that guy dancing!". So many people were talking about how they have never seen him dance like that, and I ensured them that I've been with him for over 5 years and never seen him move like that. We had a blast!

Bennett

HAPPY 8 MONTHS BENNETT! With today being Bennett's 8 month birthday, it reminded me of the post I was going to do (two weeks ago), so here it is.

Although Bennett was a very tough boy to cheer up when he was sick two weeks ago, there were some normal Bennett moments. Kim, these are the photo's that I took the morning I watched him. I wanted to send them to you that day so you could hopefully forget about the horrid morning you had had with him. So although these are quite a bit late, I thought that you would still enjoy them!

We always knew Bennett would be a snugly little boy!

Although Bennett and mom had a rough morning before she went to work, he is still a little stinker that loves to smile!

Cross Country Meet #1

On Saturday (08/30/08) was my first cross country meet of the season. It was at St. Mary's University, which is known for their very difficult course. With the exception to St. Mary's 5k (3.1 mile course) we run 6k races. This is a very difficult course, considering a little more than the first mile is all uphill going into the bluffs. I actually did surprisingly well. I took 7th for the team and 13th overall-and our team took first! This hasn't happened in a long time!!! I ran it in 22:12 which was 1:10 minutes faster than last year. I even negative split each mile (which means I got faster every mile). It was a difficult run, but I actually really enjoyed it. A lot of my family and friends were able to make it to support me which was AWESOME! That's definitely one of the things that I miss about high school running; almost all of our college meets are at least two hours away, so it makes it difficult for family and friends to make it. Bennett even made it to his first cross country meet-I was so happy to see him when I was done!!!

This is a picture of me coming into the finish line...I was so happy to see the red and white flags just ahead!

I got to see Bennett right after I finished, it's a bummer that he doesn't fit into his WSU gear  yet. But he was still too cute!

A team picture with the plaque after the awards ceremony. This was a very exciting sweep for us!

1 Week Down-15 To Go

Yes, unbelievably the first week of school is over (for me anyway). I have gotten very lucky with only having four day weeks this semester. I even already had a test in one of my classes and I did very well. I do have a lot of classes but they don't seem too bad after all, therefore it should be a successful semester.

I have really forgotten how much school takes out of you. The last few nights I have came home and all I want to do is sleep. I end up napping for a little while and then not being able to sleep all night. Hopefully next week will go a little better.

Not much else to really talk about at the moment. I will for sure have another update on Saturday after my first meet. WISH ME LUCK!

Day Two

Today was the second day of the semester. I have been to all of my classes except for one which is a night class which was cancelled this week, so I will have yet another new experience waiting for me in the days to come. The semester seems as though it will go smoothly. However, I have completely forgotten about how tiring it is!  The last two days I have come home extremely exhausted and ready to nap! 

This is a picture from cross country last year. A few people have transferred,  but most are back and we have a ton of new runners this year. Cross country season is my favorite time of the year ...it mean's FALL IS HERE! We have so many fun memories to look forward to this year. I know it is going to be a great time. 

As many of you already know, Jake and I moved in together and got our first apartment in March. Things have gone extremely well for us so far. I will be spending quite a bit of time in Winona this year due to cross country, track, and because I miss my friends. This will definitely take away from my home time but we are very used to that at this point. There will be pictures of the apartment coming soon! We have recently re-arranged a few things so no pictures yet.

Summer is OFFICIALLY Over!

As of 8:00am today, my summer vacation is over! Today was my first day back to school and although I love summer, I was more than ready to go back. Classes don't seem to be too bad (so far) and it was really nice to see everyone again. 

I went to watch my little nephew again this evening so that my brother, sister-in-law, and her sister and husband could go celebrate my brother's 30th birthday! Considering Kim and Heather got me blogging, I was harassed for not updating my blog since the last post...SORRY! So school and tonight gave me more than enough reasons to update. 

I haven't done anything too exciting since the last

 blog except go to a Dave Matthews Band concert. It was a great way to close out the rest of the summer. It was a great time with a lot of great people! This is an opportunity that I wish came around more than once a year.

Top: Jake and I before the show starts when the sun was beginning to set. It was a beautiful day and evening for a concert!

Left: Dave Matthews Band in their opening song for the night.

Fortunately I was able to spend a lot of time with my friends the last week of summer. Going back to school is going to be another big adjustment for me, but i am very excited! I always like starting new things and enjoy things that keep me busy. I promise another update very soon!

Summer's Almost Over

As the middle of August approaches I have began to look back on my summer and what I have done. To be completely honest I worked most of it (YUCK!) , but I was able to do a few things that has been the highlights of summer. 

On July 3rd I was able to be with one of my best friends to celebrate her ever-so-important 21st birthday! Seeing since it was on July 3rd, we were able to have all of our friends and family join us the next day for fireworks and a few other events. That was by far my most memorable and favorite two days of the summer! Yes, she did survive but it was a rough night for her!

I have also gotten to spend a lot more time with my nephew! He is getting so big so quickly! He is almost 7 months old now! It has been so much fun to watch him grow and be able to see his personality develop. He can always cheer me up!

Jake's dad's company has a picnic at Jellystone every year. This summer Jake and I decided to start our vacation a few days early and make it a whole weekend experience. It was our first time camping together and it went incredibly well (believe it or not)! We had so much fun, hopefully this is something we will continue to do in years to come.

The day after our camping trip I headed out East to Washington DC to visit my family for a few days before meeting up with our friend's Brian and Laura. They moved out to PA for Brian's grad school and now it was time for them to move back. Jake flew out a few days after me and from then on it was all work (and a little play). 

On Thursday (above), we left in the morning to finish up some stuff with the moving truck before heading to Philly for lunch and then off to Point Pleasant, New Jersey to go to the beach. It took us a little while to get there, but it was well worth the trip before DRIVING back to the midwest. We had a great time and believe it or not, I would do it again in a heart beat!

This last weekend I returned back home on Saturday night. I was invited to go Canoeing on Sunday so I figured why not. I had sat in a car for just about 24 hours straight, I should go do something fun. I had the time of my life! There were various cliffs for jumping spots throughout the trail and this was one of them. Yes, maybe not the smartest thing to do...but it was a thrill!

Now I just have a little bit left of my summer. I'm sure it will be filled with more work, practice, and  hopefully other various fun activities. Until then...this is my summer so far in a nutshell.